Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest

Ok... this is a fun contest and worthy of a blog post if you decide to enter. Vist their site for all the details... http://www.winningwriters.com/contests/wergle/we_guidelines.php


But these are the basics...

Submission Period
Entries accepted August 15, 2008-April 1, 2009

How to Submit Your Entry

1. Find a vanity poetry contest, a contest with low standards whose main purpose is to entice poets to buy expensive products like anthologies, chapbooks, CDs, plaques and silver bowls. Vanity contests will often praise remarkably bad poems in their effort to sell as much stuff to as many people as possible. Click here for an example of a vanity contest that accepts nearly everything.
2. Make up a deliberately absurd, strange, laugh-out-loud humor poem. Click here for examples.
3. Submit your parody poem to a vanity contest as a joke.
4. After you've done steps 1-3, click here to submit your entry to the Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest.
5. There is no fee to submit to the Wergle Flomp Poetry Contest. Poets of all nations are welcome. Your poem must be in English (inspired gibberish also accepted). Please submit only one poem during the submission period. Your poem may be of any length.

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
--Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

History of the BLFC

Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. The contest (hereafter referred to as the BLFC) was the brainchild (or Rosemary's baby) of Professor Scott Rice, whose graduate school excavations unearthed the source of the line "It was a dark and stormy night." Sentenced to write a seminar paper on a minor Victorian novelist, he chose the man with the funny hyphenated name, Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, who was best known for perpetrating The Last Days of Pompeii, Eugene Aram, Rienzi, The Caxtons, The Coming Race, and--not least--Paul Clifford, whose famous opener has been plagiarized repeatedly by the cartoon beagle Snoopy. No less impressively, Lytton coined phrases that have become common parlance in our language: "the pen is mightier than the sword," "the great unwashed," and "the almighty dollar" (the latter from The Coming Race, now available from the Broadview Press).

Conscripted numerous times to be a judge in writing contests that were, in effect, bad writing contests but with prolix, overlong, and generally lengthy submissions, he struck upon the idea of holding a competition that would be honest and -- best of all -- invite brief entries. Furthermore, it had the ancillary advantage of one day allowing him to write about himself in the third person.

By campus standards, the first year of the BLFC was a resounding success, attracting three entries. The following year, giddy with the prospect of even further acclaim, Rice went public with the contest and, with the boost of a sterling press release by Public Information Officer Richard Staley, attracted national and international attention. Staley's press release drew immediate front-page coverage in cultural centers like Boston, Houston, and Miami. By the time the BLFC concluded with live announcement of the winner, Gail Cane, on CBS Morning News (since defunct through no fault of the BLFC), it had drawn coverage from Time, Smithsonian, People Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Manchester Guardian, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, Australian Radio, and the BBC. Most important, over 10,000 wretched writers had tried their hands at outdoing Bulwer's immortal opener, with the best entries soon appearing in the first of a series published by Penguin Books, It Was a Dark and Stormy Night (1984).

Since 1983 the BLFC has continued to draw acclaim and opprobrium. Thousands continue to enter yearly, the judging has been covered by all the major American television networks, and journalists and pundits from Charles Osgood to George F. Will have commented on the BLFC phenomenon. And each year the winners continue to be announced by both national and international media, including such worthies as the BBC, Australian Radio, Radio South Africa, and Radio Blue Danube from Vienna. To sustain the momentum, the Penguin collections of entries have reached five, each an indispensable addition to the bookshelves of discerning readers and collectors (lamentably, they are now all out of print, a commentary on the misplaced and mercenary values of modern publishers).

There is no prize money, but what a thing to put on your resume, I enter every year just to say I have. Visit their website for past winners, various unique links and the complete rules -http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/#The%20rules

California Writers Club, Sacramento Branch 2009 Flash Fiction Contest

I really like Flash Fiction. The art of telling a short story (beginning, middle, end) in such few words is always a good writing challenge. I also like contests put on by writing clubs as the entry fees are usually quiet in line with the prizes ($10/$100) and the prizes are usually equal to or significantly more than you might be paid for a small print publication accepting your work (i.e. only contributor copies, which there is nothing wrong with, but I do like getting paid for my work on occasion). And because they are small(ish) groups, if you are a good writer your odds of being awarded a place is decent as they may only get fifty to a hundred or so entries. Now that said, since they are run by small(ish) groups there isn't as much prestige to putting winning such contest on your writing resume as say winning the Writer's Digest Short Fiction contest. But since they get THOUSANDS of entries, I think it balances out.

I also want to share with you this link that has some very good information about what to look out for when considering offering your writing to a contest - http://www.sfwa.org/Beware/contests.html

The California Writers Club is 100 years old this year (I have been a member of the Inland Empire Branch for 9 years) and was founded by Jack London, George Sterling , John Muir, Joaquin Miller, and the first California poet laureate, Ina Coolbrith, and Herman Whitaker, among other writers of the time.

The Sacramento Branch has a contest running right now that I would love to see you win. Below are all the details.

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California Writers Club, Sacramento Branch
2009 Flash Fiction Contest
Deadline: March 31, 2009

Open to All Writers.
Membership in the California Writers Club is not required.

Theme: Open

Prizes: $100 first place, $50 second place and $25 third place

Word Count: 500 words maximum

Entry Format: Submit three copies. All entries must be typed, double spaced using black 12-point Times New Roman font on one side of 8-½" x 11" white paper. For additional pages, put title on upper left hand corner and page number on upper right hand corner.

Cover Page: Type the title of your story, your name, address, telephone number, e-mail address and word count. Include separate cover page for each entry and paperclip to entry.

Entry Fee: $10 for each submission. Enclose a check made payable to CWC, Sacramento Branch.

Deadline: Must be postmarked by March 31, 2009.

Winners: Winners will be announced in the June 2009 branch newsletter and honored at the June 20, 2009, Sacramento Branch meeting, 11:00 a.m. at Luau Garden Chinese Buffet, 1890 Arden Way, Sacramento, CA. Winners need not be present to receive their prizes. Winning entries will be published in the branch newsletter, write on!

Entries must be unpublished. Entries will not be returned and authors retain all rights.

Submit to:
Evelyn Luscher
CWC, Sacramento Branch Writing Contest
P.O. Box 1157
Citrus Heights, CA 95611-1157

For more information:
Contact Contest Chair Evelyn Luscher at eluscher@sbcglobal.net

Contest - Phoebe

Winter Fiction Contest
Deadline - February, 28th 2009

Phoebe sponsors an annual Fiction Contest. The author of the winning story for the winter contest will receive $1,000 and publication in the Fall issue of Phoebe.

Contest entries should include one story, not to exceed 7,500 words. Novel excerpts and non-fiction will not knowingly be considered. All entries should include a cover letter with your name, address, the title of the story to be considered, and a brief biography. Your name and address should not appear anywhere on the story.

Please enclose the $15 entry fee (check or money order payable to Phoebe/GMU), and a SASE for contest results. Manuscripts will not be returned. All writers submitting to the contest will receive a copy of the Fall 2009 issue.

All contest entries must be postmarked by February 28th. Mail Entries to:

Phoebe Winter Fiction Contest
Phoebe MSN 2D6
George Mason University
4400 University Drive
Fairfax, VA 22030

The Phoebe Winter Fiction Contest affords Phoebe the opportunity to read a diverse selection of stories from which the journal has each year selected pieces for publication. The editors of Phoebe thank you for your interest and look forward to reading your work.

I like that you get a copy of the journal for your entry fee. That is always nice.

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Phoebe also takes regular submissions...

Phoebe seeks to publish quality writing. Do not send formulaic writing, romance fiction, or greeting-card poetry. We do not consider previously published work. We encourage writers to read our Mission Statement and to order back issues to familiarize themselves with what we will publish.

Visit their site for complete guidelines - http://phoebejournal.com/